In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
can u get pink eye on your cock?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
