and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
