I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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