I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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