So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
