I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize