i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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