Who wears a wallet chain?!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
