your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
