My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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