I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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