Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
