How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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