Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
