and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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