You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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