well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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