Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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