She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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