so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
