what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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