I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
