No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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