your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
