You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
