So drunk its hurt
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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