The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
