halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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