Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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