Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
