Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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