Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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