Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
