When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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