You're my little dorito
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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