I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
