Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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