i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she woke up with a sticky ear
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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