She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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