Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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