I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The adults are the big ones right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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