White coat. Heels.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize