Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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