you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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