Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your cock deserves a montage
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
