ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
