Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
