Don't make out with my wife yet
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
