Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
