You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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