So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
