I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
