that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh god it's open bar.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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