I feel like abortions should bother me more
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dicks are not precious.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize