So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
