I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
