C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
