she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
