youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's blow job season.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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