His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
