we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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