i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
