either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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