Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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